Thursday, September 19, 2013

Dealing with “Nega” Stars

            There you are one day so happy and gay in the morning when suddenly, you meet someone who soaked up all the misfortunes in the world: the “Nega” stars. They emanate that bad vibes aura and worse comes to worse, failure to handle that negativism would end you up like them as well! When getting influenced by any “Nega” stars or when you face one, maybe we can consider the following tips:

1.      Empathize but do not sympathize
2.       Counter negativism with positivism
3.      Offer choices; do not add oil to the fire
4.      Show you care
5.      In case of contamination, talk to someone with a positive outlook in life

-          Empathize but do not sympathize:
Before crying along with the troubles of the “Nega” stars or just before you get angry at the bad vibes they bring; try to put yourself in their situation rather than snubbing or fighting with them. If you’re in their shoes, what would you do to prevent stressing yourself out? Try to learn from their experiences so you can manage your own when the same situation hits you rather than simply feeling pity towards them and criticizing them. Remember, they do not need a shoulder to cry on; they need a handful of support so they can go on with their lives.

-          Counter negativism with positivism:
Before you say, “Oo nga eh, malas talaga ako,” I’m no good, or I’m going nowhere, try displacing these negative thoughts to constructive motivations. Maybe you weren’t able to close that sale because you’re meant for something bigger. Maybe you weren’t able to land that job because you are meant for a better opportunity. There’s always a reason behind everything. Just like my favorite verse in 1 Corinthians 10-13, No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

-          Offer choices; do not add oil to the fire:
If you happen to meet a “Nega” star, the last thing they would want to hear from you are the following: “Oo nga malas ka talaga; sayang hindi mo nakuha; Ikaw kasi hindi mo ginalingan; Ang tanga-tanga mo kasi; Mahina ka kasi; Hindi mo kaya ‘yan.” They are already sinking deep in depression and my goodness; you’re stepping on them further! If you do not have anything good to say; it’s best to just keep silent, listen to what they have to say and think of an encouraging AND REALISTIC way of counseling them. Offer them simple steps or solutions to attend to their problems; do not mandate them on what they are supposed to do. Their minds are only preoccupied with problems but that doesn’t mean that they are helpless. They will only feel worse if you make them feel useless and not able to handle the situation they are in.

-          Show you care:
Like what was stated earlier, make them feel that you are willing to listen to them if you are not able to address their concern. It would only make them feel worse if you’re playing Candy Crush while they are sharing their negativism to you. Negativism can be minimized by making them lessen their burden thru sharing it with you; after all, they need that support now.

-          In case of contamination, talk to someone with a positive outlook in life
There will come a time that you will become a “Nega” star as well, no matter how well you manage problems or no matter how positive your outlook in life may be. To address this concern, try avoiding the means of conversing with another “Nega” star; negative plus negative would only blow things in exponential proportions thus making it worse. Try talking to someone whom you know can pump up positive thoughts and encouraging ideas. Remember, negative plus positive will lessen it and will make things better in the long run.

            No man is an island. That’s why let’s offer a helping hand for those who felt that their lives is so far away from the happy days under the sun.


For any questions, don’t hesitate to write comments below. I’d be more than happy to assist you with financial planning. You can PM me so we can talk about it in detail.

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